


An Improper Fairy Tale

by AmeliaGlitter



Category: Gundam Wing
Genre: Adventure, Dragons, Eventual Romance, F/M, Fractured Fairy Tale, Humor, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-01-15
Updated: 2018-01-31
Packaged: 2019-03-05 00:51:39
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 7,296
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13376631
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AmeliaGlitter/pseuds/AmeliaGlitter
Summary: Take two bored princes, a grouchy adventurer, and an overworked king; add one large, dangerous dragon; stir in a stubborn witch and a arrogant sorcerer. Shake well. Garnish with magic and mayhem. Serve with your favorite adventure. Enjoy.





	1. In Which Duo is Given No Choice But to Run Away and Follow the Advice of a Frog

**Author's Note:**

> This story is inspired by The Enchanted Forest Chronicles by Patricia C. Wrede.

The kingdom of Maxwell was a large kingdom, just west of the Mountains of Morning, where academics were highly respected and the number two was fashionable. The climate was unremarkable and the seasons marched through in the normal fashion. Knights kept their armor polished mainly for show—it had been centuries since a dragon had come west. There were still occasional problems with fairy godmothers and millers’ daughters, but that sort of thing usually cleared itself up. King Abbott and Queen Helen were good rulers; both just and merciful. The kingdom wasn't large, but it was wealthy. All in all Maxwell was a very pleasant and prosperous place to live.

 

Duo hated it.

 

Prince Duo was the youngest son of the King and Queen of Maxwell. He had five older brothers and two older sisters; all of them perfect royal children with blonde hair and blue eyes. They would never consider their crowns a burden, nor would they think to do something Mama and Papa didn’t like. In contrast, Duo had brown hair and vivid purple eyes. He hated being a prince and often did things Mama and Papa frowned upon.

 

At the age of seven he began climbing down the wisteria vines growing outside his window to go play in the forest. He made friends with the head cook’s son and a chambermaid’s daughter, Solo and Hilde, and played with them for hours. Their games never involved rescuing princesses or defeating dragons (like Duo’s older brothers), instead they played at being mysterious elves or captured by evil sorceresses. They ran wild and often barefooted. Duo frequently returned to the royal nursery missing his shoes and covered in dirt.

 

When the king and queen discovered their son’s pasttimes they were deeply disappointed. They immediately hired the best tutors in the land to teach Duo the proper ways of a royal prince. The curriculum that was planned did not impress Duo. He had no wish to learn about challenging dragons and giants, or how to dance and court a princess. He never wanted to be in a situation where is was necessary to know the exact way a glass slipper should fit, nor the maximum numbers of mattresses needed before a princess couldn’t feel the pea any longer.

 

Duo grit his teeth and bore it. When lessons got too tedious he conned and bullied people into teaching him more interesting things; the court jester taught him slight-of-hand and tumbling, the gardeners taught him about plants, the healers taught him about caring for the sick and the palace cook taught him to make elaborate and tasty dishes. He learned more from the common people working in and around the castle than any of his tutors. By the age of thirteen he not only knew all the princely skills of fighting, magic, languages and courting, but the decidedly un-princely skills of cooking, tumbling, slight-of-hand, gardening and healing.

 

Over the years he grew to look even less like a prince. He was still attractive—many often called him beautiful—but he would never fit into the conventional idea of handsomeness. Duo was effeminate, more so than any other boy in the palace, and because he wore his chestnut hair long, he was often mistaken for a girl. His eyes were his most striking feature, but still not very princely. Instead of a proper blue or green, they were a deep blue-violet and framed with delicate eyelashes. He was thin and fairly short, not tall and muscular as princes should be. He was strong, but his strength came from tumbling and tree-climbing rather than jousting and dueling.

 

When Duo was fifteen the king and queen decided something must be done about their youngest. The neighboring kingdom of Sanq had a lovely young daughter. It was decided that she and Duo would marry. The contracts were drawn up in secret to prevent Duo from knowing. The prince, however, soon bullied the information out of the court jester.

 

Prince Duo marched to his parents’ sitting room. “I refuse to marry Princess Relena.”

 

The queen looked at him severely over her reading glasses. “Whatever for Duo? She’s quite lovely. Her hair is the color of honeyed wheat and her eyes are—”

 

“I could really care less about her appearance, Mama,” Duo tried to explain. “I simply don’t wish to marry her.”

 

“Then who do you wish to marry?” The king asked. He was a patient man and usually at least listened to his youngest son.

 

“No one.” Duo stated firmly.

 

The queen looked shocked. “But Duo, that simply isn’t done, it isn’t proper!”

 

“It isn’t proper that I marry her!” Duo said desperately. “I haven’t rescued her from a dragon or a giant or won her hand with a joust! I haven't gone on an adventure to prove my worth or...or...anything!” It was grasping at straws, but perhaps his parents would listen.

 

The queen’s eyes narrowed. She wasn't buying it. “You will marry Princess Relena in three weeks time.”

 

“But—”

 

“That is final!”

 

One week later, the Princess Relena came with a full entourage to meet her betrothed. The queen had been right, Princess Relena was quite lovely. Her hair was in fact the precise color of honeyed wheat and her eyes sparkled like sapphires. She was in every way a proper princess. In other words, she was entirely boring. She wasn't a bad person—in fact, he quite liked her in an abstract way. As far as princesses went, she was intelligent and kind. Her parents had died when both she and her brother were very young, resulting in her being far more serious that most princesses Duo knew. Honestly, if he absolutely had to marry her, he wouldn't be miserable. Duo just really, really, didn't want to marry her.

 

He began to spend most of his time in the garden, trying to figure out a way to avoid marrying Relena. He’d tried threats, begging, logic and magic, but his parents remained firm. They had apparently determined this was the best and only course of action to rein in their youngest son. The days crept by and Duo still had no solution. In less than a week he would marry Princess Relena.

 

In a desperate, last hope, he tried talking to the princess. He approached her while she was embroidering in her solar, figuring a direct and to-the-point approach would be better than a subtle one. After all, she was an intelligent young woman. She was seated in a lavish, cushioned chair. Intelligent or not, she had obviously paid attention to her own lessons and had arranged herself in the most becoming way possible. He marched straight into the room and right up to her.

 

“You don’t want to marry me, do you Princess?”

 

She looked up at him with wide blue eyes. “But I will be marrying you, Prince, in four days. The contract has already been signed and my dowry paid.”

 

“Yes, but do you want to marry me?” He dropped down onto the cushions next to her chair. “Isn’t there some other prince that you find more suited?”

 

Relena blushed very prettily.

 

Aha!

 

“Tell me about him,” Duo wheedled in his sweetest tone.

 

The princess took a deep breath and launched into a description about a young king on the other side of the Mountains of Morning. Halfway through Duo got very bored hearing about King Heero’s triumphs in battle. Obviously the girl was very infatuated.

 

“Well,” Duo said loudly, to interrupt her long-winded description, “why don’t we go tell my parents you don’t want to marry me then?”

 

Relena stared at him as if he’d grown horns. “I couldn’t do that! It isn’t proper!”

 

“But you don’t want to marry me!”

 

Her sweet manner dropped and her eyes narrowed. “It isn’t proper,” Relena said icily. “I won’t do it.”

 

Two days before the wedding Duo's room was empty, his crown left on his pillow and a note:

 

_Dear Mama and Papa,_

 

_I am sorry to do this to you, I know you had a great deal of hopes for this wedding. I cannot in good conscious marry Princess Relena and hope that no offense is taken at my leaving. Please don't try to find me, I'll return when I'm ready._

 

_Duo, Prince of the Kingdom of Maxwell_

 

The prince skipped cheerfully down the road. He carried a pack of supplies and wore his plainest clothing and boots. He was finally free of all the boring Prince lessons! He was free of the palace and the judement of nobles and servants alike! No more would he have to worry about which fork to use or how to challenge a fellow Prince to a duel. Gone were the endless balls and parties. And, most importantly, he didn’t have to marry Princess Relena. In fact, he didn't have to marry anyone!

 

Hours later, the road was dusty and the spring sun warm on his back. The novelty of the adventure was beginning to wear thin as sweat trickled between his shoulder blades and soaked his bangs. The pack had grown heavy and his boots—usually perfectly comfortable for daily wear around the palace—were beginning to rub blisters.

 

Finally, he spotted a stone well just off the road. It was marked for use by travellers and shaded by a large birch tree. Duo thankfully left the road and took the small path leading to the well. It took some time, but eventually he had pulled up a bucket full of cold water. He sat the wooden bucket down next to the well and sat down with a flop, leaning back against the stone.

 

“Hey! Watch it, man!”

 

Duo started and looked around cautiously. He saw no one to match the voice.

 

“Down here! Honestly, you humans don’t ever pay any attention to anything!”

 

Duo looked down.

 

A frog looked up at him.

 

“Did you just talk?” Duo asked the frog uncertainly.

 

“Of course. Do you see anyone else around here?” The frog answered irritably. It was large and dark green, with swirls of yellow and red across its smooth skin.

 

“Oh.”

 

“Indeed. I’m Howard, by the way.”

 

“Pleased to meet you,” Duo said politely. “I’m Duo Maxwell. Are you an enchanted prince?”

 

“No, but I’ve met a few of them. After awhile you pick up on things. You mean Prince Duo of Maxwell, don’t you?”

 

“I’m traveling incognito.”

 

Howard the Frog flicked his tongue out, catching a passing fly. “Why?”

 

Duo sighed. “My parents want me to marry Princess Relena of Sanq.”

 

“And you don’t want to? Very sensible of you.”

 

The undercover Prince nodded. “She’s nice enough, as princesses go. I don’t feel too bad about disappearing on her. She didn’t want to marry me either, but it wasn’t proper for her to refuse.”

 

“So you ran away? Where are you going now?”

 

Duo blinked. He hadn’t thought about where he would go after he left the palace. “I’m not sure. I'm going to follow this road for now, heading west.”

 

Howard ribbited a ribbit that sounded suspiciously like a laugh. “For such a sensible young man, you are very silly. Leaving the palace without more of a plan is stupid!”

 

Duo blinked again. He had just been insulted by a frog. He’d never been insulted by anyone before, let alone an amphibian. To cover up his embarrassment he dug some bread out of his pack and munched on it.

 

“Would you like my advice, Prince?”

 

“Sure,” Duo said. After all, he didn’t have to follow it.

 

“Follow this road west. Soon you’ll come to a fork in the road. Take the left path. Once you have taken this path, do not stop for anything. In a few leagues you'll find a hovel. Knock three times and snap your fingers before entering. You’ll find some people there who can help you, if you’re polite and they’re in the right mood.” With a final flick of his tongue, Howard the Frog leapt away, disappearing into the underbrush.

 

“Thank you,” Duo called after the amphibian.

 

He finished his lunch while he thought about the frog’s advice. It sounded rather odd, but Duo knew enough about quests and destiny to know that it would probably be best to follow the frog’s advice. After all, talking frogs (that weren’t enchanted Princes) weren’t exactly common.

 

Having decided to follow Howard’s strange advice, Duo stood and slung his pack back on his shoulders. He set off down the road, whistling cheerfully.

 

It didn’t take long for him to come across the fork in the road. He glanced down each path carefully. To the right was the regular road; a broad track that led to the next town. To the left was a narrow little path that wound deep into the forest. Duo just shrugged to himself and started down the left path. The trees closed in around him as he walked, giving the forest the illusion of a never-ending twilight.

 

Duo saw the sun glint off the pavilion before he even realized he was walking amongst trees of silver and emerald. He nearly paused to admire the glittering foliage when a voice called out to him.

 

“Traveler! You look so hot and thirsty! Come to my golden pavilion and sit down for awhile!”

 

Remembering the frog’s advice to not stop until he reached the hovel, Duo sped up. He quickly passed the pavilion and the enchanting voice calling out to him. He didn’t slow down until the trees turned back to normal trees. It was then he noticed that there were eyes staring out at him. Suddenly, he very much wished he had brought a sword. He kept walking a quick pace, but didn't run. So far, he had not been threatened, just unnerved.

 

Very soon he came to the hovel the frog had described. It was covered with moss and appeared to be falling down. Vines grew all over it, winding in and out of the boards that were coming apart.

Duo stared at it dubiously. Who on earth could live in a place like that? But it made no sense to not follow Howard’s advice after he’d come this far. Duo also knew that not finishing things you start could lead to disastrous consequences.

 

So he dusted off his clothes and quickly neatened his braided hair (so as to make a good impression). After one last look over his shoulder at the eyes watching him, he stepped to the door, knocked lightly three times, snapped his fingers and went inside.

 

Inside the hovel was impossibly dark, considering the cracks between the boards that Duo had observed outside. It was also very damp and chilly.

 

“What’s this? Has someone lost a princess?” A deep, hissing voice echoed from the back of the hovel.

 

Forgetting to be polite, Duo snapped at the voice. “Prince, thank you very much. Masculine.”

 

“He’s not very polite.” Another voice observed.

 

“He hasn’t challenged any of us yet.”

 

“He’s not even carrying a sword!”

 

“Maybe he’s got spells?”

 

Duo gulped, he’d counted five distinct (very intimidating) voices. “I have no intentions of challenging anyone. I was told that I might find someone here who could, um, help me.”

 

“We could eat you,” said the third voice.

 

Duo stumbled backwards, feeling behind him for the handle of the door. His hand met only with cold, damp stone. He took a deep breath. “I really prefer not to be eaten. If you please. Perhaps if I knew who you were? It’s very dark and I can’t see you at all.”

 

“That can be fixed,” the first voice said. The voice spoke a single word, hissing slightly.

 

Duo felt magic swell around him as the chamber filled with light. He blinked in the sudden brightness and got a good look at his conversation companions.

 

He was in a cavern filled with dragons.

 

Duo gasped at the glittering dragons. There were five in the room, each a different color. They were all mostly the same size—that is, huge. Duo had never seen a dragon before in his life. They didn’t often fly west into Maxwell from the Mountains of Morning. They were much more prevalent to the east and north, in the areas surrounding the Enchanted Forest. He pressed himself against the damp stone behind him.

 

“You were saying?” The first voice, which belonged to a solid black dragon, looked at him pointedly. “About us helping you?”

 

“Or eating you,” the red dragon said in a bored tone. He looked very vicious, lashing his tail around like a whip near Duo.

 

“He’s too skinny to be very tender, Epyon,” the sandy dragon pointed out.

 

Duo took a deep breath. His mind was working quickly, and he had a glimmer of an idea forming. “Well, dragons are very fond of princesses, right?”

 

“Of course. Princes, however, are rude and useless. Stupid enchanted swords and rings and whatnot. Always trying to steal what doesn’t belong to them, because they were given some silly ‘quest’ by some king or another.” The red dragon flicked a forked tongue out in irritation.

 

“Wizards are worse,” the sandy dragon pointed out.

 

“I don’t know much about wizards, but I know a lot about princesses.” Duo took a deep breath. “Personally, I don’t understand why you would want any at all. They can’t possibly be useful. My sisters can dance, flirt and faint, but that's about it. I think I could be much more useful.”

 

“Useful? How?” The black dragon peered at Duo. He seemed more curious than scornful.

 

Duo began ticking his skills off on his fingers. “Like all princes, I learned magic, fencing, horsemanship, several languages, politics and etiquette. Besides all of that, I also learned acrobatics, tumbling, music, cooking, picking pockets and locks, gardening and healing. I could cook and clean for you, in exchange for room and board.”

 

“He sounds much more useful than a stupid princess.” The green dragon who had spoken sighed in exasperation, emitting a small puff of flame. She was the only female in the cavern. “Really, the females of the human species are stupid beyond belief.” She peered down at Duo. “If I didn’t already have a silly princess of my own, I’d take him.”

 

The orange dragon—who had been completely silent since the lights appeared—snorted in derision.

 

The black dragon smiled. He had a lot of teeth. “Would you like to be my prince? There really isn’t a precedent to this, but I think you could be very useful to me. I don’t know why no one has ever thought of keeping a prince before.”

 

“Because he’ll stab you in your sleep, Deathscythe. You should just let me eat him.” The red dragon sounded very bored.

 

“Quiet Epyon, I’m not concerned with your opinions. Well, Prince?”

 

Duo could only nod happily. This was better than anything he could possibly have thought of alone! No one would think to look for him with the dragons, and anyone who did see him would probably think he was just some eccentric princess. He gave the black dragon his most charming smile.

 

“Who would want an improper prince that looks like a princess?” Epyon demanded.

 

“I’ll only ask you once to be polite when talking about my prince.” The black dragon gave Epyon a full draconic grin, showing all of his teeth. The red dragon snorted in derision, hardly cowed at all, and stalked out of the cavern.

 

The black dragon peered at Duo. “Ignore Epyon, his princesses keep running away from him.”

 

The green female and the sandy colored male both made a strange sound that was a lot like a snort and a hiss combined together. It took a moment before Duo realized they were laughing.

 

The black dragon ignored his companions and focused on Duo. “I’m Deathscythe, and you are?”

 

Duo was quick to remember his manners, now that he wasn’t about to be eaten. “Prince Duo of Maxwell, at your service.” He swept his most courtly bow to the room at large, then another to Deathscythe specifically.

 

Deathscythe grinned, but not the ferocious grin he had showed to Epyon. This one was much kinder and showed less teeth. “Well, Prince Duo, climb on my back. It’s a long way to my living quarters and you look tired.” Deathscythe settled low to the ground. Crouched like that made his shoulders roughly the same height from the ground as very tall horse’s back. Thankfully, Duo was quite used to mounting jousting horses, which were extremely tall. He hoisted himself onto Deathscythe’s back without a problem. Deathscythe stood carefully, so that Duo wouldn’t fall off.

 

The orange dragon hissed a little. “Well, he’s certainly more athletic than a princess.”

 

“Too true, Heavyarms. There are obviously advantages to having a prince instead of a princess.” The green dragon cocked her head to the side. “I think I’ll see if I can find one for myself after the silly thing I have right now gets rescued or manages to run away.”

 

The sandy colored dragon—the only one that Duo hadn’t put a name to yet—actually giggled. At least, Duo assumed the slightly higher pitched snort-hiss was a giggle. “It can’t be easy to find a prince that won’t attack us. Perhaps Duo is one of a kind.” He lifted his head up even with Duo’s. “My name is Sandrock, Prince. You’ll see me often; my cave is next to Deathscythe’s.”

 

Duo smiled sincerely at the kind dragon. “I look forward to it. Just as long as I’m not anywhere near Epyon.”

 

That sent the dragons into gales of laughter again.

 

When Deathscythe had caught his breath he bid the other dragons goodbye and started the trek to his living area. He walked much faster than a human, but not so quickly that Duo couldn’t stay balanced easily. In fact, riding a dragon was much smoother than riding a horse. The prince had been trying to make a mental map of the caves and tunnels, but was soon completely lost. They took so many turns and twists, and there were so many tunnels branching off that Duo couldn’t keep track. The labyrinth made Duo think of a huge city, with tunnels instead of streets and caverns instead of buildings.

 

It was a very long ride to Deathscythe’s cave. Duo was too exhausted to even pay attention to the dragon when he undid the shield spell on the entrance. He was awake enough to notice Deathscythe’s head curve up and over his own shoulder to peer at Duo.

 

“We’re here Prince. You seem very tired. Your rooms are through the little door over there. Make use of anything you find.”

 

Duo nodded tiredly and slid down off the dragon’s back, wincing when Deathscythe’s scales scratched his hands. He all but stumbled through the doorway that the dragon had pointed out. The first thing he saw was a large bed. Unconcerned about the state of his clothes, hair or own hygiene, he fell into the bed at once. He was asleep almost before his head hit the pillow.

 


	2. In Which Duo Settles In to Life with Dragons and Refuses to be Rescued

A sunbeam fell cheerfully directly on Duo's face, heralding the morning in such an undeniable way that one blue-violet eye cracked open of its own violation. The prince, not used to being awoken by anything other than a polite manservant, scowled in irritation. Slowly, he became aware that he was not in his bed in the palace, but in a unfamiliar cave-like room. The bed was soft, but covered with unusual blankets that Duo had never seen before. Oddly enough, he was wearing dusty and travel-worn clothes and boots.

Memory was slow to come back, but Duo soon remembered yesterday. The walk away from the palace, Howard the Frog, the hovel, and the dragons. Specifically, Deathscythe, whom he had ridden through a maze of tunnels and caverns back to this room. He had also apparently agreed to be the dragon's prince—slave?

With memory came pain. Cuts on his hands burned where he had scraped his palms against Deathscythe's scales. Duo examined the cuts minutely in the light of morning. They weren't bad, but definitely needed to be cleaned. He swung out of bed and began to explore, hoping for a water pitcher and bowl. He found instead an actual bathing room and water closet, which was completely unexpected in a dragon's cave. The prince didn't hesitate in filling the large tub and soaking away the previous day's grime and aches.

Washed and feeling much more princely, even with his hair loose and wet, he ventured out and began to explore his new home.

He encountered Deathscythe almost immediately. The dragon was reclined in a large cavern immediately outside of Duo's room, delicately turning the pages of a large book with his claws. The cavern seemed to be made for this purpose, for it was brightly lit by globes of glowing white and comfortably appointed with rugs and tapestries. The natural stone of the room was shaped in a decidedly unnatural way, forming dragon-sized chaises. Deathscythe was lounging on one such formation, a globe hovering near his head.

Duo was able to better see the dragon now, and took a moment to examine him. Deathscythe was at least fifty feet long, nose to tip of tail, with massive wings that were currently folded tightly along his spine. The dragon was slender and muscular, with deep black scales flecked in gold and green eyes that glowed even in the brightly lit room.

“Good morning, Prince. I hope you are well-rested?” Deathscythe greeted him politely.

“Yes, thank you,” Duo replied promptly. “Whatcha reading?”

For a creature without eyebrows, Deathscythe made a good show of looking like he had raised his. “A treatise on the sociopolitical movements of trolls.”

Duo blinked. Twice. “That sounds incredibly boring and weird,” he admitted.

The dragon made that strange snort-hiss that Duo had identified last night as laughter. The prince couldn't help but crack a smile and was soon laughing as well. It was cathartic, and Duo felt much better as their laughter died down. The dragon seemed much less intimidating now.

“I see I made an excellent choice. So let's talk about what you will do while you are here. I have a number of ideas, but I thought you could start with cleaning and organizing my living area. It will be a very big job.” Deathscythe flicked a delicate—and deadly—talon towards several other tunnels and caves leading off of the main one. “I'm afraid I am not one for housework.”

Duo nodded in agreement. From where he was standing, he could see multiple scrolls, rusted swords, and piles of unidentifiable brick-a-brack, all covered in a thick layer of dust. If the other rooms of Deathscythe's living quarters were the same, he definitely had his work cut out for him. Nevertheless, he was excited. Cleaning and organizing a dragon's cave was way more fun than attending balls and competing in jousts.

“Very well, that will be the first order of business. It will probably take several weeks, to be honest. I would also ask that you cook for me.” Deathscythe snorted again at Duo's almost involuntary flinch. “Calm down, Prince. I usually eat exactly like you do, just a great deal more. Roasts, stews, the occasional treat.” His shoulders moved in a draconic shrug.

“What kind of treat?”

“I am particularly fond of chocolate.”

Duo grinned widely at that. “I can make a really good chocolate mouse.”

“Excellent. I suggest starting your cleaning with the kitchen.”

Duo returned to his sleeping chamber and braided his hair—still wet—and wound it carefully around his head before securing it with a spare handkerchief. His clothes were another matter entirely. He had dressed after his bath in the only clean clothes he had, breeches and tunic of silk and a heavy brocade surcoat. Appropriate as his outfit was for being a prince, it was hardly going to be good for intense cleaning. There was an antique wardrobe in the room, so lacking any other option, Duo peered inside.

Surprisingly, the wardrobe was filled with a variety of breeches and tunics in serviceable cambric and linen. There were several pairs of soft leather boots at the bottom, apparently in Duo's size. The wardrobe door waggled in a mischievous manner, and Duo looked at it skeptically before laughing. Of course a dragon would have a magical wardrobe! The prince changed happily. Once appropriately clothed and shod, he hurried back into the large cavern and was pointed into the kitchen by Deathscythe.

The kitchen was a complete disaster. Duo stared around, aghast, at the monumental task before him. The dust was thick and covered every exposed surface. And there were a lot of surfaces. It seemed every single dish was stacked on the counter and every cabinet door hung open. There were stacks of scrolls, gold coins, and rusted weaponry scattered amongst the dishes. Duo wasn't even sure where to begin, but he squared his shoulders with determination.

After a few minutes of consideration, he started collecting the objects that obviously didn't belong in a kitchen. He made a neat stack in the corridor outside the kitchen, attempting to sort the various things he found to be put away in their proper places later on. Then he scrubbed, and scrubbed, and scrubbed. The wash water had to be changed multiple times as it turned gray with the dust and grime coming off the floor, counters, and dishes. He stopped only briefly to eat a snack of bread, ham, and cheese from the pantry and cold room. He was surprised to see both stocked, but didn't think he imagined the smug feeling it exuded at finally being used.

It was late when he finally stood back and examined his handiwork. It would do for now, but he still wasn't done. The dishes still needed to dry and everything still needed to be organized in the cabinets and drawers. The floor needed at least one more good scrub down, but that could wait; he was filthy and needed a good scrub down himself. Feeling cheerful, he returned to his room for another bath and fell into bed to sleep.

Duo's routine settled quickly. He would wake and dress in practical clothing acquired from the magic wardrobe in his room. Then he cleaned. The kitchen was done by the second day, but the rest of the caves were a bigger job. It took a full week before the entire living area was properly scrubbed and organized. In between cleaning Duo made vast quantities of stew, chocolate mousse, roasted vegetables, breads, and pastries for Deathscythe.

Life with a dragon was hard work, but Duo enjoyed it. Deathscythe's caves were fascinating. There was a main cavern, very large and well appointed with soft carpets and cushions, and several smaller caves which served as kitchen, library, storage, and Duo's living quarters. The store rooms alone were filled to the brim with the most fascinating odds and ends from all over the known lands. The library was a world unto itself, with more books and scrolls than Duo could have imagined existed on every topic conceivable.

The dragon Sandrock visited often. He would pop in to see Duo nearly as frequently as he saw Deathscythe. Duo enjoyed the company. Sandrock always had the most wonderful stories to tell, of far off places and interesting people. The other dragons would visit too, though thankfully not Epyon.

It was the eighteenth day when his routine was interrupted by a commotion outside the caves. Duo paused in his clothes washing—the magical wardrobe was lovely, but it didn't clean the clothes it made—and cocked his ear towards the outer entrance of the caves.

“...to do battle!” The faint voice cried out.

Duo blinked. Who was doing battle? Drying his hands on his apron, he hurried to the outer entrance. The passageway was large, but twisted, and voices were echoing against the walls. Duo emerged from the dark tunnel into the bright afternoon sun and blinked at the tableau before him.

Just in front of the entrance were two men, both in armor polished so bright that it was blinding to look at. They appeared to be arguing; brandishing both swords and shields at each other. The two knights—for it was apparent they were knights—didn't even notice when Duo stepped out of the cave.

“I was here first!”

“I have seniority! Go find a different princess to rescue!”

“Ahem!” Duo shouted over them both. “What princess are you looking to rescue then? Because there aren't any about.”

The knights stopped shouting at each other and turned to face Duo. Two visors lifted at the same time and two pairs of blue eyes stared out. The men seemed dumbstruck by the prince, who was dressed in his plain clothes with a full wrap apron covering him and his chestnut hair braided down his back.

Suddenly self-conscious, Duo wrapped his arms around his middle and glared. “Well? Are you going to explain yourselves?”

The taller of the two spoke first. “Sir Gerbert the Vigilant,” he bowed. “I have journeyed from a far distant land through many perils to engage in battle with the dread dragon Deathscythe to rescue the fair and beautiful Princess Duo!”

“Sir Theodoric the Great!” The other took several steps forward before sweeping an even more elaborate bow. “I shall be the one to rescue the Princess Duo from the foul lizard!”

Duo stared at the two knights-in-shining-armor in disbelief. They appeared completely in earnest in their desire to rescue the 'princess' from the 'terrible beast'. It was laughable, but they were completely serious. It was just lucky that Deathscythe was away at the moment.

“Good Sirs,” Duo began. “I thank you for your daring journey and brave proposal, but I'm afraid you've got it all backwards. I'm Prince Duo and I have no desire to be rescued.” He smiled charmingly and swept a half bow. “I could inquire to see if there are any princesses who should so desire your attentions.” He wondered if Nataku would mind if he sent one of them around to rescue her princess.

Neither of the knights moved, seemingly frozen in shock. The three men stood in complete silence for several minutes, which quickly grew awkward. Duo continued to smile, but it was forced. The knights seemed to be thinking, he could practically see the strain.

“How dreadful!” Sir Theodoric finally shouted. “An evil spell hath rendered you masculine in appearance! The heinous monster has poisoned your mind to your saviors!”

Sir Gerbert nodded in agreement and relief. “Yes, my good sir, it is quite obvious! Such an atrocity must not continue!”

“No, no, no!” Duo shouted in alarm. “I am not enchanted and Deathscythe hasn't poisoned my mind! I am Prince Duo of Maxwell, the youngest son of King Abbott and Queen Helen! I ran away from home and chose to live with the dragons. I have no desire to be rescued!”

The knights ignored him, as they were deep in conversation about how to best rescue him. It seemed they felt the quest should be divided into two parts, defeat the dragon and break the spell, but they disagreed upon the order of importance. Sir Gerbert seemed inclined to break the spell before rescuing Duo; Sir Theodoric was more inclined to rescue and then break the spell.

Duo turned on his heel and marched into the cave and straight back to one of the storage rooms. He carefully selected a sword that he had just cleaned of rust the previous day before returning to the front of the cave. The knights were still arguing in increasingly loud voices. Duo dropped into a fighter's stance and cleared his throat loudly.

“If you two don't leave at once, I will fight you myself!”

The knights did stop arguing, but neither looked inclined to leave.

“Princess! Don't be ridiculous!” Sir Theodoric shook his head. “We are trained knights!”

“I may not like swordplay, but I am more than capable of handling the two of you! And don't call me Princess!” Deciding he was done with their foolishness, Duo attacked.

The attack was neither technically correct nor elegant, but it was effective. Duo's sword clanged against Sir Theodoric's armor hard enough to jolt his hand, but he ignored it and swept another arc over his head. The sword came down again, this time the flat of the blade struck Sir Gerbert's shoulder, causing him to drop his shield. Both knights were well-armored, so Duo wasn't doing much damage. Sir Gerbert had dropped his shield in surprise more than pain and Sir Theodoric barely took note of the strike to his torso. He hoped the attack itself was enough to make them see sense. He fell back, taking up a guard stance and waiting for one of them to make a move.

“What's the meaning of this?” Sir Gerbert asked. “Don't you want to be rescued?”

“No!” Duo said and attacked again.

The duel—if it could be called that—was over quickly. The knights were heavily armored, but it made them slow. Duo dispatched them both quickly and they retreated down the mountainside. The prince returned to his task of washing his clothes, muttering under his breath about knights the whole while.

The meeting with Sirs Theodoric and Gerbert was a catalyst. Suddenly, Duo was inundated with knights, princes, and virtuous younger sons who were all determined to rescue the enchanted princess from the dread dragon Deathscythe. It was distracting, to say the least, and potentially dangerous. Deathscythe was kind enough to let Duo deal with the would-be rescuers, but his patience was growing short. Duo was concerned that the dragon would lose his temper soon and someone would get hurt (most likely one of the adventurers).

Duo's patience was getting thin as well. The constant interruptions were annoying. Twice he had burned something in the kitchen because he had to leave and deal with someone caterwauling about dread dragons and battle. Most of them didn't listen when he tried to explain he didn't want to be rescued. None of them seemed to care that he wasn't even a princess. He had taken to keeping a sword by the entrance, as he had to thoroughly trounce most of the idiots to get them to leave. That just caused another worry. Duo was careful and quite skilled, but one misstep could result in either himself or one of his opponents actually getting hurt.

And so, when another voice called for the dragon Deathscythe to stand forth and do battle, Duo began shouting back.

“I don't want to be rescued!” He shouted. In a fit a pique he flung his knife—which he has been using to slice vegetables for stew—at the wall. It bounced harmlessly off the stone. “I am not an enchanted princess!” He stomped through the tunnel and paused only long enough to pick up his sword. “I will kill you if you aren't gone in the next two seconds!” Duo drew himself to his full height and glared daggers at the man before him.

Aquamarine eyes blinked from behind golden-white bangs in bemusement. “Oh please do,” the young man's voice was pleasant and lilting with an odd accent. “Honor dictates I'll have to resist, but I promise it will only be a little.”

Duo gaped at the young man before him. He was small and delicate looking, but carried twin half-moon blades with the air of someone who knew how to use them. He was dressed in flowing, pastel silks and wore a gold headdress over his blonde hair. Duo became aware that a uncomfortably long time had passed since either of them had spoken. He cleared his throat. “I beg your pardon?”

“You said you were going to kill me,” the blonde man reminded him.

Duo shook his head to clear it. “Let's start over. I'm Prince Duo of Maxwell, currently residing with the dragon Deathscythe. And you?”

“Prince Quatre of Ellfor. Ostensibly here to rescue the Princess Duo from a vile monster. Perhaps something got lost in translation.” He sheathed his swords on his back with a flourish, then bowed. “You don't appear to be either a princess or in need of rescuing.”

Duo grinned. This prince was definitely not cut from the same cloth as the others who had showed up at Deathscythe's cave. “Less of a language barrier and more of a horrendous rumor. Would you like some tea?”

Prince Quatre grinned back. “I would love some. The climb up here is rather long.”

Over tea, Duo learned a great deal about His Imperial Highness Quatre Raberba Winner, First Son of Emperor Zayeed Sadiq Winner. Ellfor was, as he had suspected, far to the south. So far, in fact, that it was across the Emerald Sea. The empire was rich and varied, covering vast lands of the southern continent. Quatre loved it, but hated being the First Son. He was not much of a First Son, by the way of things. Ellfor was a peaceful and pacifistic land, but Quatre loved all things involving battle and war. He had studied the shotel—which is what he called his wicked blades—without his father's permission, as well as battle tactics and strategy.

“I'm not bloodthirsty,” he explained to Duo with a shrug. “I certainly don't want Ellfor to go to war. I just like learning about it.”

So, like Duo, Quatre had ran away. He traveled north and eventually found himself in very strange lands. Having very little else to do, he decided to rescue a princess from a terrible monster that was rumored to be undefeated. Being a generally good person, he was concerned that the princess was in danger.

“Well,” Duo said when the tale was concluded. “I appreciate the concern, but I don't need rescued in the least.” He poured them both more tea. “What do you plan to do now?”

Quatre shrugged, his headdress tinkling with the movement. “Continue to travel, I suppose. Is it terribly interesting? Living with a dragon, I mean. It sounds fascinating.”

And then Duo had a wonderful idea. “Wait here for just a moment!” He exclaimed, leaping from his seat and rushing out of the chamber.

He ran straight back to the inner entrance to Deathscythe's cave. Two lefts and a quick right took him straight to Sandrock's cave. He politely rang the bell and hoped the kind dragon was in. Sandrock was definitely in need of a equally kind companion and Quatre would be perfect. The sand-colored dragon peered out his cave, smiling when he caught sight of Duo. They exchanged pleasantries, then Duo explained about Quatre and his idea. Sandrock agreed to meet Quatre and accompanied Duo back into Deathscythe's living quarters.

Quatre was waiting politely in the kitchen still, sipping his tea and humming to himself. He was surprised to meet Sandrock, but recovered quickly and greeted the dragon with courtesy. He listened to Duo's proposal with interest, eyes alight with excitement.

“So you see, the situation is perfect! Quatre needs somewhere to stay and you could use the company.” Duo persuaded. He wanted this to work very badly. It would be wonderful to have someone like Quatre around for him as well. He loved chatting with Deathscythe and Sandrock, but the dragons were wholly alien.

Sandrock contemplated the young prince with care. “I see no reason not to give it a try, if Prince Quatre is amenable to the idea.”

Quatre nodded enthusiastically. “Oh, quite! Traveling around with no purpose can get very boring.”

So it was settled. The would-be rescuer became Sandrock's 'captured' prince and Duo's fast friend.


End file.
